i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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