this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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