Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
