I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
