No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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