shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
