Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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