He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
