I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
