I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's rum buckets o'clock
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
