I just made out with a guy for $7.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
