It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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