yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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