I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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