I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
