i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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