I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
