so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
