ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
