I checked into jail on foursquare
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
