Operation Purity has been aborted
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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