He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
