half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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