piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
