I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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