i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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