He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
