Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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