Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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