she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
