Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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