I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize