yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize