I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
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