Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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