Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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