That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I am naked and annoyed.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
