Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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