People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
