my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
