Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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