I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
