do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
