I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize