I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
