dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
