She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
