Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
