i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
