and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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