hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
