So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize