I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
