You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
And then he peed in my hair
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