Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
