so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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