I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
