Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
