i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
