Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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