i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
