Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
